Enjoy Yourself

I did a short stint in NYC in my late 20s. I followed a girl there, it didn’t work out, happens to the best of us. But I moved there without a job, so I took the first one I found. I found a gig working at a high end wine shop on Wall Street. Literally the wine shop was on Wall Street, so yeah, I worked on Wall Street. We would open at like 8am and there would be a line at the door of coked up Wall Street dudes waiting to buy pints of kettel one. Number one selling item. High end wine shop but mainly just supplying the coked up, stressed out “brokers” trying to fulfill their Hollywood dreams of being a coked up stressed out, usually bald and chubby Wall Street man. The movies lied to you, for every Leo or Charlie Sheen, there were twenty John Candy and Chris Farleys chain smoking cigarettes. I prefer the latter anyways.

There was also this day trader dude who lived above the shop. He was always on so much blow and was not shy about it. Wouldn’t even clean the powder off his nose. Would order a bottle of Clase Azul tequila up to his apartment a few times a day and answer the door, robe open, tighty whiteys underneath and coke on the table. Always tipped well.

Anyway, my boss was a foreign guy named Bob, clearly not his real name. For months I thought he was a Mexican guy. No idea why but his accent was confusing. Turns out he was an Arab dude who disappointed his family and disgraced his religion because he just loved wine that much. I don’t mean that in a bad way, like the dude fucking LOVED wine, he KNEW wine, and could talk about it like no one I’ve ever met. He lived the life. Left his family to move to NYC, washed dishes, waited tables, lived the NYC restaurant life through the 80s and had some ridiculous stories. At one point he was managing a high end hotel in manhattan and a “can’t mention the name” Indian elite got in a fight with him because his “hooker department” was low class. So he had been through the wringer and in his older age decided to sell overpriced wine to dorks that didn’t know what to do with their money.

Dude loved life, loved wine, and always made work fun. He reminded me of a middle eastern version of old fezziwig from Scrooge. Just knew how to make work a good time and make his employees WANT to work hard for him. One of his biggest ways of making the days go by a bit faster and seem a bit less shitty, was to randomly open bottles of wine. Sometimes $15 whatever, sometimes rarities from the cellar. The whole staff would get a taste. From the guys in shirt and tie “salesmen” to the “basement guys” hanging out with the rats stocking the wine cases, to the delivery guys riding their shitty ass bikes through the streets of manhattan delivering booze to the thousands of New York hermits/boozebags who don’t leave their million dollar apartments. AKA everyone got a taste. And as he poured your glass, he would always say, in his nondescript but smooth as hell foreign accent, ENJOY yourself. Yes, sometimes you were drinking wine at noon. Sometimes it was a bottle of Chataneuf du pape or Penfolds Grange. Some of the people knew what they were drinking was special, some others were just tired and working their ass off and appreciated the pick me up. All equal, all wanting to work their ass off for the appreciation. SO, next time you pour a glass of wine, on a Tuesday at noon or a Saturday at midnight, ENJOY YOURSELF. Try to enjoy your job, tip your delivery driver, waiter, uber driver, etc. Toast to them. Toast to yourselves. We’re all working, but it doesn’t mean we can’t ENJOY OURSELVES.

it is YOUR day

I cut my own hair. My Ma always took us to a barber shop. All old ass italian dudes cutting hair in their retirement. Noone ever wanted a haircut from Ralphie. I remember there would be a line out the door, Big Joe and Geno with guys in their chair, Ralphie with nothing. Ralphie: “Hey! I can fix ya up real good over here?” Man in line #1: “Im good Ralphie, waiting on Geno or Joe”….Ralphie goes and smokes another cigarette, Poor Ralphie. I even remember our local priest turning him down. “Hey fatha, I can get you in over on my chair?” “No Ralphie, I uh….Havent finished reading the Sports section, you go along and take someone else, and may god have mercy on your soul”.

Anyway, we usually got our haircuts at the barber shop. But when our hair was growing too fast and my Ma just needed to lower the ears, she took matters into her own hands. Got pretty good at it too. Yes, we all had the same haircut for 20+ years, but we were fresh! Haircut at your own house. No lines, all free, and no Ralphie. I learned that haircut for myself. High and tight fade. Ended up being the haircut of choice for the early 2000s. I was cutting everyone in towns hair for five bucks a pop. Beer money for days. Everyone looked the same.

There was a time i just wouldnt cut the back of my head. If I cant see it, who gives a shit. Turns out I was walking around with a mullet through most of 7th grade. I figured out how to use the mirror to get the back, and been cutting my hair ever since. Still got the same haircut. Once a week, always fresh. If it aint broke.

Long way to say I had a day off once. {ONCE!}1. There was a new fangled spot in town and it had the bells and whistles. Pool table, beer, whiskey, no Ralphie, I decided to check it out. I was working hospitality at the time so had like Mon Tues off. They opened at 10am and I was customer #1 and customer #only. Dude unlocks the shop. Veryyy eastern European {Russian} and looked like central casting for Eastern Promises. Full on jump suit with the zipper all the way up for the turtle neck look. Low cut fade on the sides with a lineup up front, The classic 90s black guy line up. Always a good look for a white guy! It was 10am and he asked if I wanted some whiskey. Absolutely. He said “work today?” “No, its my day off” “Well then sir…It is YOURRRRR Day!” He got to cutting. “Can I get you a beer sir” Me: umm Im good” Him: whatever you need, because it is YOURRRR Day!. Every time he asked a question, “do you want it shorter on top? Clean shave? Shake down that neighbor that doesnt pick up their dog shit?” well it is YOURRRR day!

The haircut came out like shit. They clearly gave him the 10am on Tuesday shift because he didnt know what the fuck he was doing. But if you walked into his chair on a Tuesday at 10am? And you just happened to have the day off in the middle of the week while everyone else is in their cubicle? Well sir. It is YOURRR Day! Your hair may look like shit, but it will grow back, and noone can take away the fact that youre drinking whiskey at 10am on a Tuesday, and it is YOURRR Day!